In the future we'll all be gay
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
