I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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