3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
