I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
