She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
