therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
