So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
