Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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