Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
