Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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