Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
