mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
