so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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