shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
