Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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