my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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