Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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