Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
