Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
