i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
