RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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