i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
