watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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