I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
