what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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