Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
