Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
