conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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