Bisexual people are plain selfish.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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