i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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