and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
