just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
