is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
