Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
