do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
