it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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