I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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