He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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