Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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