i think i have herpe
just one?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
