Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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