What did we do last night that was yellow?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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