you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
