yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
