just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
