Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Someone came in the potted fern
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
