I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
