We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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