4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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