Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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